There is a plethora of views circulating concerning Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith’s relationship.
One theory that has gained some prominence is that Will’s Smith behaviour at the Oscars resulted from the culmination of several years of being entangled in a relationship with a toxic spouse.
Will’s outburst certainly revealed a broken man. However, is it truly fair to hold his wife accountable for his actions? If he viewed his relationship as untenable, he had access to the best therapists. As a wealthy attractive man his options were and still are limitless. Will Smith was able to access every conceivable resource to address his unresolved issues. Blaming Jada Pinkett Smith for his behaviour is not simply a cop-out but it is palpably sexist.
During the infamous discussion at the Red Table concerning Jada Pinkett’s Smith affair with August Alsine, it was made abundantly clear that Will Smith is guilty of his own infractions. However, the rhetoric that seemed to gain traction was that his wife embarrassed him publicly. Why was it that she was blamed when he could have chosen not to be a part of the discussion? Was he robbed of his free will, was he coerced or blackmailed into engaging in this discussion. Why were his infractions glossed over?
Why is it that as a society we so easily blame women for the shortcomings of men in relationships? What Jada and Will’s relationship has managed to unearth is the fact that society finds a strong woman unnerving. It would be more acceptable if Jada in her public appearances seemed apologetic, rattled or distraught.
Society does not find palatable a woman capable of navigating the turmoil of a problematic relationship and seems less tarnished than her husband. Will’s public breakdown has led to Jada’s vilification. As a woman she should be demure and genteel. Jada should be apologetic and visibly devastated by Will’s emotional struggle. Any other reaction other than visible remorse makes her the villain and the “wicked witch.”
Another popular theory circulating is that it was Jada’s reaction to Chris Rock’s joke at the Oscar’s that compelled Will to react violently. Once again this notion of a knight running to rescue the damsel in distress reeks of misogyny. Jada was obviously not amused by Chris Rock’s joke but why is it her fault that Will Smith felt entitled enough to attack Chris at a public event viewed by millions? His reactions unmask his character defects and emotional struggles not hers. It was not Jada screaming profanities and acting like a spoilt child on the night of the Oscars, it was Will Smith.
Undeniably Will Smith actions have damaged his career. His legacy and life’s work have opened doors for many person of colour. His actions have undoubtedly tarnished his reputation and feeds into the stereotype of the angry black man. While he has done irreversible damage to his reputation it does not erase his contribution to the film industry and society.
Will’s Smith actions though regrettable are a testament to his humanity. He alone has to accept responsibility for his actions. On the night of the Oscars he was the bully in the room. He made the decision to attack a smaller black man who he knew he was capable of defeating. The truth is if it were Dave Chapelle who had made that joke he would have remained firmly seated his chair. Will knew that what he was doing was wrong and he did it anyway.
Actions have consequences and he alone should bear that burden. Society cannot seek to interpret the cause of his pain when it is not privy to the details of his relationship and then in turn seek to bully his wife.
